I can’t believe I’m writing this … I’m sometimes still in shock but you guys, WE’RE HAVING A BABY!
Now that I can FINALLY share the news, I’m gonna go into EVERY detail possible because there are so SO many things to cover and I need to catch you guys up since I’m now already 18 weeks pregnant! I’ve been dying to share the news with you guys so sit back and grab some chips- it’s gonna be a long one…
HOW, WHEN, WHAT?
he weirdest thing when you become pregnant is telling people how it happened. You kind have to get into the juicy details and have to explain wtf happened. At the beginning of this year, John and I planned that we would start trying around the middle of the year. So when August rolled around, we knew it was go time. We didn’t tell anyone that we were trying and wanted to start off casual for the first couple of months. I didn’t check my ovulation or any of that in August. We figured we would really start monitoring and tracking once we got back from Asia which would be the beginning of October if nothing happened by then.
On September 16th I went to my Dr’s office for a check-up. I had some uncomfortable bloating* the last year and wanted to run some tests to see what it could be. We ran a few tests and before I could schedule the final test she wanted me to take a pregnancy test since the test she wanted to run wouldn’t be safe in case I was pregnant. Seeing that I was two days late I agreed and took the test. Since I’m always 2-4 days late (I’ve never been regular) I thought nothing of it, plus I just didn’t think anything would happen till after our big Asia trip. Since I was pretty sure I wasn’t pregnant, I started to head out the door and as I was walking out my Dr. asked me to come back in the room. She told me I’m five weeks pregnant!!! It’s not the most ideal way to find out you’re pregnant but omg I was shocked, a little scared but super excited all at the same time. I couldn’t wait to tell John! (*bloating is unrelated to my pregnancy you can read my bloating update here*)
To my luck, I had previously scheduled a facial right after my Dr. appt so I had to drive to get a FREAKEN facial in the midst of me trying to digest the news. So many thoughts and emotions were racing in my brain… “OMG Is the baby healthy?, “Crap, I had one too many glasses of wine a few days ago…”, “Is traveling to Asia safe for the baby?”, “How much weight am I gonna gain?” , “Will my readers enjoy pregnancy content?”, “Wait… WTF HOW AM I GONNA PUSH THIS BABY OUT?”. Looking back, I’m glad I had that damn facial. I was able to gather my thoughts, get my shit together, and just enjoy the first hour of being pregnant by myself.
I asked John to come home earlier than he normally does ‘cus I couldn’t hold in the news any longer. I’m pretty sure John had the same reaction as I did ‘cus he was speechless for what seemed like an hour. We hugged and cried and hugged and cried a few more times before it settled it. As soon as he digested the news, he ordered a ton of books from amazon (mind you he only ordered it for himself?!) and went straight into research mode. He researched for hours find the “perfect” Dr., conducted all the creepy background checks, called our insurance, and made all our appointments within 24 hrs. I literally woke up from a nap and he had everything ready to go. Let’s just say he has been my everything the last few months and I couldn’t have survived without him. Literally, I haven’t done shit the last four months *devil face* lol.
HOW I FELT IN THE FIRST TRIMESTER
Week 5-7: We had our first Dr. appt. It was the first time we’d got to see our little baby and even got to hear the heartbeat which was crazy! At this point, I didn’t really feel any symptoms or changes. I thought “phew, I guess no morning sickness for me… yay!”.
Week 8-10: Right before we left for our vacation we had our 2nd Dr appt to make sure everything was looking good before we left. I still felt pretty great… that is until I landed in Korea it was GAME OVER. Thus began the all-day nausea and sickness. Everything and anything made me throw up, gag, or lose my appetite. I tried my best to pretend everything was super yummy and fun.. but let’s just say I could barely drink water.
Week 10-14: I was pretty much nauseous from the minute I woke up to the minute I went to sleep. You’d either find me in the toilet, in bed, or on the couch at this point. My work was crumbling and I was pretty much absent on Stories most of the days…
WHAT I ATE/ GYM ROUTINE?!
So obviously I had to eat, even though I really didn’t want to. Food was so disgusting to me. It was like a never-ending hangover x 1000.
Things that didn’t disgust me:
- Fruits- Lots of it. It was one of the only things that made me happy about food.
- Salad- Loved fresh cold crisp salads w romaine (no dressing cus that grossed me out).
- Oatmeal- A warm bowl of oatmeal and fruit drizzled w cinnamon and maple syrup was my go-to as the weather got colder.
- Smoothies- To this day, every morning John makes me a smoothie packed with vitamins, proteins, superfoods, greens, and fruit.
- Cheese- A small cube of cheese w saltines would help me a lot esp. when I needed something salty in my system.
Obviously, this isn’t an ideal diet for anyone and during this time I ended up losing a lot of weight (obviously not purposefully) but these were the only foods I could get down without it coming back out. My goal was to try to get something in my body rather than nothing. Luckily I was able to get my Ritual Prenatal vitamins down every day so thank God. Since my diet was pretty, let’s be honest, pathetic we added in a lot of superfoods (chia seeds, maca powder, hemp seeds, nuts, fish oil, protein powders, etc.) in my smoothies, salads, oatmeals, honestly anywhere to get a bit more vitamins and protein in me. I couldn’t cook anything, let alone look at food so John had to prep almost everything for me, also why there were no cooking videos the last few months (sorry guys!).
I would have to say this was the toughest part for me. I found myself crying many days out of frustration not being able to do anything or eat anything. After a few months of being nauseous and bedridden I felt so weak, fragile, sick, and sad most of the days.. it was little depressing to be honest. Nausea is no joke you guys!
As much as it was hard I did push myself to do one thing which was to go to the gym. I worked with my trainer 2x a week for 30 mins and at the time that’s all I could handle. We did light exercises, and although it sounds crazy it was the only time I didn’t feel nauseous. Now, I know that’s not for everyone and some people may think I’m insane but it was necessary for me. After my workout days, I’d have to keep it easy for the rest of the day, but at least I felt great.
I should note before the pregnancy police comes at me, my Dr. was aware of everything going on, including my weight loss, nausea, work out routine, etc. and even though I was concerned she was not and said the baby was perfectly healthy, strong, and growing. And it was all very normal for some women to experience all this during the first tri.
Not all rainbows & butterflies
Not gonna lie first trimester was brutal for me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share how rough it was ‘cus some people have it even harder than me but you know what, everyone’s journey is different. I’ve learned so much about myself in the last few months, and just how incredible pregnancy is even through the hard times. I’m so grateful for my close friends and family who checked on me every day making sure baby Hong and I were holding on!
Lastly, keeping a secret for this long was not easy! Obviously, we couldn’t tell you guys until we felt comfortable but not being able to share this part of my life was harder than I thought. I’m so attached to you guys and I love sharing my life you guys! I didn’t know what to talk about or even what to share since I was just “hiding” the truth (& me just hugging the toilet lol). Let’s just say I’m SO relieved that I’m finally sharing this news with you guys.
This blog post turned into a freaken novel … what’s next?
Well, I’m in my 2nd trimester now and feeling so much better. Happy to report Baby Hong and I are doing very well. I still don’t have any cravings and I’m not thrilled about food yet but I’m able to eat normally now. I’m in a much better place physically and mentally and starting to feel like myself again. Work has been so busy the last month (hello Holidays) so I’ve been keeping busy with work, staying active and healthy and just overall feeling so grateful and overjoyed! I will update you guys more on my 2nd trimester once we conquer that! I’m SUPER excited to share everything with you guys and can’t wait for what’s to come next! Baby Hong Coming May 2020 !!!!!!
I want to just end with a note that everyone’s journey is different. It’s harder for some and easier for others in so many aspects from conception all the way to birth and even after birth. But I’ve learned your journey is your own and whether you had a hard time in the past or going through it now, whatever stage you’re in, you’re not alone!
Remember God’s plan is greater than your plan.